Deciphering Self-Awareness With Children

The Fast Food Tantrum

Yesterday, I sat in the car with my daughter, driving to grab some lunch. When we arrived, her response was negative as she insisted we go somewhere else instead. I was a bit surprised by the tears and sudden defiance over something as trivial as fast food. This led me to explaining to an eleven-year-old girl what self-awareness is.

Aware of Advantages

While some people may not believe that children could possibly truly gauge what self-awareness is, I’d argue that perhaps we don’t credit them enough. With that thought, I explained to my daughter that maybe she had an advantage in learning about it now. After all, no one had ever told me what these things were. I put in a lot of hard work to figure it out on my own, but I was nearly thirty when I realized it mattered.

So, I told her that such a reaction wouldn’t result in getting her the thing she wanted. She argued that she’d been craving McDonald’s for days. I challenged her further then to consider her role in the entire experience; wanting her to brainstorm the different ways in which she could have handled life not meeting her expectations in the moment.

Emotional Reactions

Being a typical pre-teen, she defiantly responded, “I don’t know!” I wanted to shake my head and sigh, half expecting her to already know all the answers, but I didn’t. The truth is that she doesn’t have all the answers and neither do I, but I could probably help her find more joy in the little things by showing her what I had figured out along my own journey. Then, I gave her some options in the form of a test question, which went something like this.

Helping Ourselves

Obviously, she answered with D. However, I wanted to know why she chose that answer instead of the others. It was clear to me that she was able to determine that D was the most rational answer, but did she genuinely know why it made it difference? Either way, I desired understanding her more as well.

It should come as no surprise that kids frequently answer our questions based on what they think we want to hear rather than because they understand. However, I try to remind my kids that the majority of things in life are subjective and autonomy is welcomed!

Out of Control

Not everything is in our control and, again, we all go through unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances at times. However, there are plenty of ways we can prepare for them without worrying about their arrival. Not to mention, having the ability to handle such events quite often means having self-awareness and recognizing our own influence, which includes our emotional reactions.

I wanted to level with my daughter, letting her know that I do recognize how powerful some emotions feel to us. As human beings, we frequently allow ourselves to get swept away with a singular feeling, focusing on what we don’t want, giving our energy over to it without realizing it. Hopefully I could assure her that she isn’t alone because I didn’t always get it right. Sometimes, I feel negative and react poorly too.

Control Your Mind

Truthfully, our mind is powerful, but who’s in control of it? We are, of course. If that’s the case, however, then isn’t it obvious that we are the ones steering the wheels within our own lives?

Has your imagination ever ran wild, getting you lost inside your head? At some point, you recognized that it was happening, which immediately gave you the ability to snap back into reality. Did you know that you can actually do this at any time, whether you’re feeling negative or realize you’re inside a daydream?

What Is Self-Awareness?

When I asked my children what they thought “self-awareness” meant, they both answered by explaining that it simply describes someone who is aware of themselves. However, self-awareness is not merely an acknowledgment of one’s existence but involves recognizing the motivations behind our thoughts and actions. This depth of understanding is critical, as it fosters personal growth, informs decision-making, and enhances our interpersonal relationships.

Let’s take it a step further and look at the words “self” and “awareness” separately to truly comprehend “self-awareness.”

The Meaning of “Self-Aware”

In the context of “self-awareness,” it implies a heightened understanding of one’s inner workings as well as their actions and reactions to and with external stimuli. It’s frequently described as an introspective analysis of where one stands concerning personal values, beliefs, desires, thoughts, and emotional states. If “self” describes one’s identity and “awareness” is about being well-informed, then “self-awareness” must portray an individual who understands themselves.